Malli. A slap in the face
reminder of the girl I used to be. The small voice at the back of my mind
reminding me of all the joys, pains, grubbiness, faith and color that lay in me
as a child. Her endless chatter, her ability to create her own world, her strange
friendships irrespective of age or gender, her free spirited nature and her
tenacity to persist in impossible dreams. Malli is one of the rare stories
unbound by gender. Malli is about not having many people believe in you, when your inner faith in your world is all that you have, when the odd friendship is
so precious, that you would go to any lengths in gratitude. Malli, was my
return to innocence and faith, to reconnect to the child I used to be. I am not
sure if I can go past the walls I have now built for my adult self as safety.
But, Malli reminds me of how it used to be, with no walls to cover one's
vulnerability. Malli, left me raw, exposed and real again. I am still
recovering from that reminder, gasping for breath.
Malli is this little girl who has
the guts, the passion and the courage to go past her own tears and limitations
for the things and people she loves. Full of spunk, she is as real as it gets.
In a jaded world full of insinuations, watching Malli is a return to innocence.
To the joys of love and the pain of vulnerability of friendships and the faith
to still swing back to joy.
A little girl Malli, who talks
nineteen to dozen, who strikes the oddest friendships longs for a beautiful
long skirt, a pattu pavadai [ A Pattu Pavadai i.e a long silk skirt and
blouse]. My first one came during my eldest sister's wedding when I was all of five.
It arrived just as we were all getting ready to leave for the wedding. I
desperately wanted to try it on at least once, never having had one before.
When I was not allowed to, I stole it and wore it and then in fear went and hid
myself, watching them search for me through the netted bamboo walls. What do
they know about a little girl's world? Of the longing to show someone what you
finally got, that in some way you now belong too? What do they know or care
that when you twirled around and sat down, your skirt became a balloon which a
friend would then jump on to break? If I close my eyes, I am that little girl
and somewhere Malli and I have merged.
Malli believes in a blue stone,
magical enough to help her friend who cannot speak and is ready to go to any
lengths to get it. And, finally she gets it when she has given up, when she is
not looking for it. When she finally gets the Paavadai as a gift from her
postman friend, she without a second thought uses it to save a fawn which has
been shot and leaves it at the door of the Vet's office in fear, of being
chased away again. If you are poor and if you are young, who would believe you?
The story of Malli is not about
getting what is close to your heart, but the willingness to understand that
when something more important than that comes along how effortlessly one should
toss away what the heart so longed for. Sacrifice. Often, an ugly world. In
Malli's fragile world, she handles sacrifice so effortlessly, so gracefully, fully
aware of how much it was costing her but yet going ahead. She reminds us that,
life truly is about giving and not getting, however much one aches. Malli is a
reminder of things we lose, the people who leave us, the unfairness meted out
to a child by adults. Malli is about what remains after unfairness, vulnerability,
and loss. Malli is so simple and truthful and graceful in her understanding of
what truly matters. About love, truth, loneliness and hope. That, even if you
run behind people who are moving away, finally you have to come to terms with
yourself and dig within yourself to again find your own well of joy and life.
Malli is about broad canvases, of
the earth and the sky, of fields, of children running through fields, of
strange friendships and an imaginable belief in the almighty. Malli is a
million things that tug at your heart and soul. Where, the technique of cinema
is so effortlessly handled that you do not feel it. What can i say about Malli?
Her large, limpid eyes full of joy, trust and life begging you to allow her
into your life? Her tears when every single time she is let down by people,
incidents and life and her ability to bounce back? You laugh and cry with her
and in a way, you believe that she can bounce back. There is too much spirit in her. Her utter
recognition of the bigness of a small moment and her deep understanding of
people. Friendship with an old toothless story teller sitting by a tree weaving
her memories and myths through vacant eyes, or her delightful friendship with a
postman where they both lie down and watch the sky side by side? When is the
last time you saw an adult being a friend with a child? A man with a little
girl and based on just pure kindredship? The utter simplicity of that one shot
stays with me, as I kick myself for dreading what could happen next, what could
be coming, ... and in the end feeling the sense of relief wash over me, that
truth is all I need to see. That not all relationships have the dirty hand of
gender. I realize what a world I now inhabit.
I am awed by the village god, an
old village god with feathers and masks the way an innocent tribal girl would
see him, and there is a sense of wonder on the various gods there are, and that
form is so inconsequential to faith. The mystical woven so effortlessly in
simplicity. How a sacred grove so easily loses its sacredness, or the waters
are bloodied with greed. How even perfect worlds, are dangerously close to
ugly, real worlds that push their way in.
Thank you for Malli, Santhosh
Sivan. I came to know her through you about 17 years too late. I am not sure
who she has become now. But for me, she is the eternal child, whose favour I
would love to seek, in whose eyes I would love to stand tall and who I would
love to not let down. I long to be her friend. I realize I am talking in a way
to the little girl I was and with whom I am not sure my adult self can match,
and that slap in the face and daily reminder is what I shall carry with me.
And, like Malli, you leave me with hope and the faith that I only need to dig
within myself to do that. Forever, indebted to you for introducing Malli. She
is now my friend too.
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| Directed by | Santosh Sivan |
|---|---|
| Produced by | Santosh Sivan |
| Written by | Santosh Sivan Ravi Deshpande |
| Starring | P. Shwetha Priya Janagaraj Parameshwaran |
| Music by | Aslam Mustafa |
| Cinematography | Santosh Sivan |
| Edited by | A. Sreekar Prasad |
Release dates
| 1998 |
Running time
| 90 mins |
| Language | Tamil |
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